Lead Me Out Of The Dark
by bluester007
Summary: Dan doesn't now where he and Natalie stand, but when she goes to him for comfort, he just can't say no. After all, he'd do anything for those he loves. Rated M for suggestive adult themes and language (no smut).


**A Natan one-shot, set a few years after the whole Vesper ordeal. Dan and Natalie don't have an exact age, but they'd be around 16-17ish.**

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**Title: "Lead Me Out Of The Dark" by Crown the Empire.**

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Six light, familiar taps pierced the deathly silence, and Dan immediately shot out of bed and pulled open the door. When he saw Natalie standing in hallway, he thought he was seeing a ghost, a mirage. The dim lights pooled around her, glaringly bright against her white nightgown. She seemed to glow with an ethereal quality, like an angel from heaven, glaring at him with all her fierce glory and power. Dan quickly stepped aside to let her in, and the moment the door was securely locked, she pounced, gripping his hair and pulling his lips down to meet hers. He felt a jolt of electricity run through his body as she kissed him with no mercy, taking his breath away like a hungry beast. He was pulled towards her like a magnet drawn to the poles, his arms reflexively wrapping around her thin frame, his hands splayed across the small of her back. He knew not to talk. He knew not to do anything other than go with it. That's all Natalie wanted. That's all she needed from him. And he was more than happy to give it to her, even though the sting of rejection never ceased to corrupt his thoughts afterwards, when she didn't say a word to him. Not one.

But Dan always found himself lost in the moment, kissing her with as much force as a hurricane. He didn't shy away from her anymore. He didn't hold back. He hitched her nightgown up, dragging his finger along her sides as he slowly pulled it up over her body, and he felt her shiver under his touch, pressing into him with a moan. He spun her around and pushed her onto his bed, crawling over her, holding himself up with his hands and knees. He'd expected her to come, so he hadn't bothered to wear a shirt. She always tore it off the moment she stepped into his room, so he'd learned quickly. She seemed to like his chest bare so she could trace his abs with a lithe finger, scratching a path around his muscles. And she did just that while he dipped his head, trailing hard kisses along her jaw, on her pulse, down to the nape of her neck. He knew she liked this, too. She never said so, but from the way her body reacted, the way she arched into him and grit her teeth, he just knew. He was quick to unhook her bra, and moments later they slid under the sheet with their bare bodies pressed together. Dan felt as though he'd been turned to fire. He felt pain, a sharp, elevated pain, but he never wanted it to stop. He wanted it to burn within him for all of eternity, to consume his every movement, his every thought, his every breath. And it did, as she moved with him, melting into his body like water set alight. Her touch burned his skin until he could feel it no more, high on the euphoria of the moment. There was nothing but them, two lone flames that clashed together in a flaring beam of light and heat until they were engulfed into oblivion.

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When Dan awoke, he felt cold. He lay clothless under nothing but a thin sheet, and he felt the absence of the heat from her body, as he always did in the morning. She'd left in the early hours of the day without a trace. There was no note, no sign that said she'd been there. But Dan knew it hadn't been a dream. It never was. And although he loved her with all of his heart, he wished he didn't. She was damaged, and he feared she was beyond repair. She came to him for a brief moment of mindlessness, to forget about everything for a short hour, under the cover of darkness. She never wanted anything more or anything less, and it nearly killed him, knowing he was nothing more than material goods to her, a drug she kept coming back to, her addiction growing stronger and stronger every day. But Dan knew that it would end someday, and he didn't ever want that. If he couldn't call Natalie his, these brief moments in the middle of the night were enough for him. They made it _feel_ as though he was hers. But when the sun rose the next day, reality was always blaringly clear, and it left him feeling hollow and riddled with longing.

Somehow, he managed to pull himself out of bed and pull on his jeans and a shirt. He blindly stumbled down the stairs, following the sound of morning conversation to the kitchen, and when he burst into the room, nobody seemed to notice him. He liked it that way, because it meant no one would see the torment ripping his heart into two.

"Morning," he mumbled, and he dropped into a seat at the table and served himself a plate of pancakes. Hamilton tried to start a conversation with him, but he barely paid attention. His breakfast felt like rubber in his mouth, and the taste wasn't any better – even though he was sure Nellie's cooking was amazing – but he forced himself to swallow it down with a glass of water that stung his throat.

He wasn't expecting Natalie to sit at the table across from him. He wasn't expecting her to come down for breakfast at all – she never did, and that's how it'd always been. No one would see her before lunch, and nobody questioned this because they were all used to it.

He felt a surge of rage in his gut, but pushed it down. Instead, he simply stared at her, his eyes asking the questions he longed her to answer. But she looked down, pointedly avoiding his gaze as she sipped a cup of tea.

"A little early for you, isn't it?" Jonah jested, flashing Natalie a smirk.

Natalie merely shrugged and said, "Someone set my alarm."

Dan found himself unable to bite back a snarky comment.

"I'm surprised you managed to hear it," he snapped, and immediately regretted it. The entire room went silent, all eyes slowly seeking out Dan's expression, wondering what had happened to cause him to rile.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Natalie calmly asked.

Dan glared ahead with a ferocious scowl, but Natalie didn't even squirm. He wanted her to acknowledge him as _something_. He felt like one of Natalie's dresses, used only until she was satisfied and then thrown aside without a second glance. He didn't want to be that anymore, but he didn't know how to change that. And he didn't want to lose her completely.

"Nothing," Dan mumbled, but he didn't drop his gaze. He didn't once look away.

"Are you okay, Dan?" Amy's concerned voice rifled across the table.

"Yeah, Dan-o. You look a little tense," Hamilton commented.

Dan huffed. "I'm _perfect_," he seethed through gritted teeth.

"What's up, Kiddo?" Nellie grilled.

"Yeah," Sinead said. "You seem pissed."

"What's my sister done now?" Ian asked with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.

"What makes you think it was _my_ fault?" Natalie questioned half-heartedly.

Amy peered over the table. "_Was_ it Natalie's fault?"

"Probably," Ted commented.

"They don't get along very well," Ned added.

Dan felt his anger growing with each question. He didn't want to talk about it, especially not with his entire family. Reunions were hard enough without being grilled by a group of Cahills.

"_Was_ it Natalie's fault?" Amy repeated.

"Yes!" Dan felt his anger explode with that one simple word. "Yes, it's Natalie's fault!" Natalie's expression remained passive, but he saw a flicker of something in her eyes. "What are you trying to accomplish?" He demanded, his chest clenching as he felt his emotions boil to the surface. "Why do you do it, and then you act like nothing happened, like _I'm_ nothing_?_ Well, new flash, Natalie: I'm not Prada or Gucci or whatever it is you buy! I'm a _human being_ with _feelings_, and I can't be bought and used. So what the _hell_ are you trying to do to me?"

Dan's voice rang through the room like a gunshot in the silence. He felt himself shaking with rage, his eyes blazing with a dozen different emotions – pain, fury, love. He realised he was standing, towering over Natalie's seated form, and she peered up at him with an expression that filled him with confusion. She looked lost, as though she didn't know what to say or do, and within that was an undeniable spark of regret. But of course, this only made Dan madder.

"Are you going to say something or not?" he demanded furiously. "Or are you going to get up and leave without saying anything, just like you _always_ do?"

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, shooting to her feet so they were on equal ground.

"_Anything!_ Tell me what you think of me. Am I just a toy? Here for your pleasure whenever you want to escape the big, bad world? Or do you not even think about me at all?"

Her breath stopped in her throat, but she did nothing more. She didn't open her mouth to speak, she didn't make a move to leave, she didn't even blink.

Dan could feel the questioning gazes around him, their eyes following the conversation like a Ping-Pong match. But he ignored them, wishing there wasn't a table between them. He wanted to step closer to her, to feel her breath near his face, her heart beating beneath her chest, her skin brushing against his.

"Just say _something_," he begged, his voice cracking. He felt a wave of exhaustion rush over him, and fell back into his chair, gripping the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white.

"I…" Natalie started, swallowing hard. "I don't know. I don't know why I…" She covered her face with her hands, and Dan suspected she was hiding her eyes. "I'm sorry, Dan," she whispered. "I never meant to… I'm sorry. I just… I go to you because I know you'll be there for me." She looked down at him. "There. I said it. I admitted I'm _weak_ because there's nothing I can do to stop it all." The words seemed to rush out, and tears soon followed, rolling slowly down her cheeks. "I see it every single time I close my eyes. I remember it all whenever I'm awake, and I dream about it at night, and I only know one way to make it stop. So I go to you because I know you'd never refuse and I know I can trust you. And I can't even _look_ at you the next day because I feel ashamed for letting it get to me, and I feel terrible for using you, and I don't say anything because it's _embarrassing_, Dan. I'm a Lucian. I'm not supposed to be afraid of anything! But I'm _terrified_ of the memory of being in that place with Vesper One's voice splitting my skull in half." She took a deep, shaky breath and wiped a hand across her cheek. "I feel like I left a part of myself behind when I was rescued, and the only time I ever feel whole again is when I'm with you. But then it's over and I'm plagued with memories once again, and I don't want to admit to it. So can you blame me for ignoring you? Can you blame me for wanting to be with you? Because you're the only thing in my life that can take away the pain, and I _fucking_ _love_ _you_, Dan."

Dan felt his heart ache as it threw itself against his ribs and bruised his chest. He was breathing erratically, his lungs burning from the effort it took him to draw the air into his body. His head swam with a thousand thoughts and a million questions, but he didn't know where to start, how to untangle one strand of thought from the others. He could tell she wasn't lying; he could see in her eyes that she meant every word. It filled him with anguish, ripped at his soul, to know that she suffered so much and he'd never noticed. He felt guilty for being angry. There was so much more bothering her than there was he. His problems were miniscule compared to hers, and he hated himself for not seeing that sooner. All he wanted to do was help her, and all he'd managed to do was make it unknowingly worse. The worry wracked his body, and he found himself walking around the table. Her eyes followed his every move, and she turned her body to face his when he stepped towards her.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me, Natalie?" he asked quietly. "I can help."

She shook her head mutely, and he reached out and cupped her cheeks, holding her head still.

"Yes," he said, "I can."

She stepped into his arms and buried her face in his chest, and he wrapped his arms securely around her, holding her as though if he ever let go, she'd disappear with the wind like a wisp of smoke. He pressed his face to her hair and breathed in the smell of her shampoo, feeling a sense of comfort and familiarity wash over him. It felt _right_ to have her in his arms, pressed against his body, in this way. It felt as though it was more than late night passion, chaste kisses in the dark, hidden gestures within every movement, every breath. The simple hug felt much more intimate than anything they'd ever shared before.

"I'm sorry," Natalie murmured against his chest.

"Don't be." He kissed her head and sighed, his eyes fluttering shut as he drew circles on her back. He didn't want to let her go. He finally had her, and he wouldn't ever let her slip away. Because without her, Dan felt as though he'd drift away until he had no clue where he was and what his purpose was. He _needed_ her, just like she needed him.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair. "You know that, right?"

She gave him a tight squeeze, then pulled back slightly, peering up at him through her eyelashes. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Dan knew that she loved him, too. She'd said so herself. He didn't need any reassurances because he could tell. Everything she did with him, every brush of skin, every smile, every glance said it all. Words weren't needed – they wouldn't do justice, anyway.

She reached up on the tips of her toes – she was barefoot, which shocked Dan because she _always_ wore shoes. He leaned down and brushed a light kiss across her lips. It was the faintest of caresses, and their lips barely touched, but Dan felt an eruption of sparks shoot through his mouth. A burning hunger yanked at his insides as he met Natalie's gaze. Her eyes were filled with yearning, and he could tell she saw the same thing in his. They seemed to come to the same conclusion, a silent agreement passing between them with a single glance. Dan took a step back and entwined his fingers in hers.

"What on earth just happened?" Ian demanded, staring at his sister with wide eyes.

"I'm so confused," Hamilton complained.

Nellie looked from Dan to Natalie, then back again, and Dan could practically see her mind whirring with possibilities. Finally, she spoke with an incredulous smile. "Are you guys _sleeping together?_" she asked, astounded.

Dan flashed Natalie a grin, and she returned it easily. Then they started moving towards the door, ignoring the questioning exclamations from their relatives.

"Where are you going?" Amy asked, exasperated, as they turned their backs on the room.

"To forget!" Dan called over his shoulder. Natalie left a trail of laughter behind her as she ran up the stairs holding Dan's hand in hers.


End file.
